More than just food...

Okay, so apparently the person that I wrote about in my last post somehow figured out I was talking about him. Thanks to whoever told him! NOT. That was a private blog post about an issue in OUR team, not your stupid life. Jerk. And thanks to you, he's now super-mad at me. When we met on Sunday he came late (on purpose I'm sure 'cause he was thinking of ways to avoid talking to me) and when he arrived, there was a silence that could only be described as "stony" (stoney?). Anyways, when he did talk, he just made fun of my motorcycle safety apparel and was totally snarky about everything. The rest of us were all super-psyched because we have a huge gig booked for the 14th of April and then he was all, like: "Sorry guys, I'm going to Costa Rica." WHA? Over a blog post? Geez. Okay, Big baby-man, if you feel like you need to go all the way to Europe to get away from me, fine. But don't hurt the team. I know you said you were going to see a "friend", but come on, we know there isn't anybody there and that this is just your way of saying: "I may not be as smart and funny as you guys, but I've got enough money to fly around the world, so, suck on that, bitches."

Look, we wouldn't have you on the team if we didn't like you. You are just as much a part of us "winning" at improv as anybody else. Like a mascot or cheerleader or the guy who cleans up the spilled Gatorade after a victory. Like the beaver who runs on the field at Oregon State games and does flips and stuff, and who doesn't love that beaver? Please reconsider your "travel" plans and show some support for the rest of us.

Yours in Comedy,

Paul