wedding planning

All of the members of FourString are in various states of relationship (Sorry ladies, these improv comedians are taken). Myself? A tender young twentysomething who is recently engaged. What I've quickly learned is that unless you are an adamant dumpster-diving San Fransisco neo-liberal, you will get pulled into the logistical and capitalistic black hole that is the wedding reception, as much as your minimalist/Buddhist tendencies inform you otherwise.

This is my current Plan B
- 150 people use teleportation so that they don't have to take off work and therefore have the event scheduled on the perfectweekendforeveryone.
- But you'd be able to bum a teleportation ride off of craigslist. Also a place to crash.
- Jeans and snarky graphic tees for the groomsmen. Same for bridal party.
- My friend is ordained in the Church of Satan. I bet he wouldn't charge. He's a cool guy.
- Ceremony music by a kazoo choir of out-of-work actors. For the reception add a beatboxer (see previous post)
- All moms have to bring their best vegetable dish
- All dudes bring tall boys.
- All else bring chocolate cake
- Gads! I forgot to plan out the reception location! Wedding places charge wicked overhead, non-wedding places just don't have the right amenities. My solution? Pick a slow weekday night and crash a country club. By the time the cops come to clear out the entire party, you'd have already gotten through dessert and the bouquet toss!

Don't even ask about the honeymoon...