The Drinking Drinking Game

It's so hard to get amped up for a big night of drinking that honestly folks need a little motivation. And since Americans are winners, the best possible motivation is a game. Normally drinking games require you to have some cards or a specific movie or television show cued up. Not so the Drinking Drinking Game. The best part about the Drinking Drinking Game is that all you need to participate is some people who are drinking. Not only do they not have to be involved, it works best if they have no idea what's going on!

• Any time someone takes a sip, takes a sip.
  
• If someone with a cigarette says, "I don't smoke... normally" take a drink.
  
• Any time someone asks what you're drinking, take a sip. If your drink is in a clearly labeled bottle, take a drink. If it's the only option available or if the person asking is drinking the same thing, finish your drink.
  
• Any time someone tells an anecdote about a previous drinking experience, take a drink. If said experience occurred in college and the person is more than five years removed from graduation, finish your drink.
  
• Any time someone raises the roof or says "Woooo!" ironically, take a sip. If done unironically, leave without finishing your drink.
  
• If someone asks you to "Wait right here!" finish your drink slowly over the ten or fifteen minutes it takes you to realize that she's not coming back.
  
• Any time someone changes the music, and the new selection is worse than the previous one, finish your drink.
  
• Any time the conversation turns to politics or religion take your drink to another room.
  
• Any time you finish a drink, get another drink.

Feel free to adapt the rules to fit the peculiarities of the folks you drink with, or to submit additional rules via comments.

Doctor House, MD style diagnosis game!!

Everyone loves the medical drama of Doctor House, MD with it's long words, dying people, and Brits pretending to be American. But what people like about it most is the symptoms. So, for your enjoyment, here is a list of symptoms. And, in a stunning twist of interactivity possible only on the internet (or maybe by phone or post card), you can TALK BACK to us and tell us what ailment you think all of these symptoms add up to in the comments section! At 5pm Eastern, I'll drop by to let everyone know the correct diagnosis and whether the patient survived, and also maybe how this patient could have been a metaphor for one or more of the characters on Doctor House, MD!

Symptoms

• blurred vision
  
• internal bleeding
  
• chest pain
  
• dizziness
  
• difficulty walking
  
• difficulty breathing
  
• external bleeding

Happy Diagnosing!

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The solution:

In the grand tradition of internet spoilers, the answer text is in the same color as the background. You have to highlight it with your mouse to read. And please don't tell the diagnosis to your friends who might still be working it out.

The patient has a 12 foot piece of railroad track jammed through his abdomen. It's a particularly inelegant metaphor for sex.