Austin Nava has an illegal monkey...

So, I was totally over at Casa de Juevos the other day, shooting the brahzeeze with Big Reader, when I saw something moving around in the back yard. I was all like, what's that? And he was all like, "nothing". Yeahs right! It was totally something and since the only something that looks like nothing is Predator anyway and since it's probably not Predator (although that would be totally kick ass to have Predator in your backyard), it's something else. So, I was all like, "screw this!" and went out in the yard. He tried to stop me, but I totally neutralized his ass with my ghetto stare, and proceeded out of doors. I didn't see anything at first, but then I tripped on some metal object and when I looked down, I saw, to my amazement, what looked like a solid gold chain. Well, I followed that shit alls the way to the bar-b-que and sitting behind the Weber, licking the inside of a Heinz 57 bottle, was an skinny-ass Capuchin monkey. So, I was all like, "WTF? Where the hezell did you get that monkey?" And he was all like,"I ordered it off the internet and they sent me that shit in a box. It's part of my experiment. I let my ladies put make up on him and I just feed him steak sauce." So, I was like, "WTF kind of experiment are you runnin' MF? That fuckin' monkey looks sick. And he was all like,"Nah,that MF ate a book and drank some motor oil last night and he's still goin' strong. He's just jonesin' cuz I ain't given him his cigarette yet. That's the other part of my experiment, Nicotine Deprivation. 'Course I had to get the little bastard addicted first and it took damned near forever." Well, that was it for P-dog. I left his mad scientist ass standin' in the backyard with his "experiment" and went home to take a shower. That shit creeped me the F out. So, if you got a monkey, don't tell me. I don't want to know. And if he ever runs for any kind of office, don't vote for his ass. That MF tortures some monkeys.