Who doesn't enjoy some weird news? After all the "sub-prime this" and "there were no survivors that" which one normally finds in the news, it's nice to kick back with some goofy stories. Maybe a cat made friends with an alligator. Maybe a three year old can beat Wall Street analysts by circling stocks with an Elmo marker. Maybe a cat made friends with a rhino. Seriously, you never know what you're going to get when you hit the weird news section as far as subject matter, but you do know you're going to get a laugh and a reprieve from the dark clouds of the front page.
Let's see what's up with Reuters while I employ the narrative device of pretending to type my reactions in real time in order to make a greater didactic point!
Berlusconi's sexism chafes as Italian vote looms: Hee hee! He has sex chafes! Try a little KY, Silvio. Wait a minute--sexism? That's not funny. Let's keep looking.
Hair salon scalps customers: Umm, this article is about forcing people to stay in a salon for hours against their consent in attempt to extort them for more money after a bait-and-switch on the price of a haircut. But the title is a pun! "Scalp" is a hair word! That's got to count for something, right? On second thought I'm going to move on.
Duck gets "order of protection" after attack: Now this is more like it! A duck in the court system. "Here I have thousands of letters, all addressed to Donald." Miracle on Thirty-Fowl Street! Except reading a little further I see that the duck was a pet and that a neighbor was abusing it and shooting it with a pellet gun. I think I'm going to cry. Ducks are cute.
Witchdoctor killings condemned: I think I know how this will turn out, but I'll at least look at the lede. I've come this far.
Tanzania's President Jakaya Kikwete has condemned witchdoctors who kill albinos and harvest their body parts in the hope it will bring prosperity.
I think I'll go back to reading about the sub-prime crisis.
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